I hope we can trim our waistline and fatten our wallets. We have resurrected our garden, budgeting practices, stayed away from so much t.v., and added new ways to many aspects of household management.

The Garden: Weeks of crisp Romaine, cup fulls of spinach, kale, and now broccoli have reminded us of the joy of doing things the long way. It's a pain to avoid pesticides, plan companions for plants, weed, water, test soil especially at the end of a long day. For me, it's essential. This is what I call my Stewardship Garden. It's a tribute to Maddie. It's a lesson for me about taking care of what I have no matter how tired or bothered I am. It's about patience and perseverance, too.

Tonight's task is going to be monumental. I had a mini meltdown last night when I was worn out and knew we needed to amend the soil, assemble the compost bins, finish the fence, and all after putting William to bed. Ugh! This meant working late and having no rest until bedtime. We split the difference and did all but the soil changeover. That's hovering over me and I dread the transplanting, the raking, and the hauling. Not easy but it is worthwhile and my muscle for patience is getting more toned!

More On Less

Really think about all of our conveniences and how that we can do more in less time but then have more time to do less. Perhaps this is why we watch too much t.v., spend too much money, eat out too often, have more time for cake and ice-cream while we are watching too much t.v. With all this free time created from convenient living, we might be on the internet too long chatting with people online when we should be chatting with our in-person friends and family. There are so many examples and each person has their own set of examples. Convenience can very easily lead to imbalance.

For me, it's definitely the larger "lifestyle conveniences" that have made me bored, boring, miserable, and fat. Take cooking for instance. If it wasn't take out, then it became pre-made gourmet meals at the grocery. All quick to get, quick to eat, and quick to waste money. That leaves more time for more snacking, moreshopping, and more spending. I truly believe this is why I am so fat...the pursuit of convenience and time for more treats. Plus, our days in the Nutter household had grown bland. Since we didn't have to do much to live everyday life, days lacked dimension. I suspect that we had a lot of energy and it was wasted on the wrong pursuits. So it turned to fat. Suffice it to say: convenience kills.

I like to do a lot but for some reason had convinced myself (before baby) that I had no time. I worked all day, came home, made dinner, watched t.v. or went out, and then went to bed. Same thing until the weekends which were the only days I did chores. Obviously we were leading an imbalanced life. Then little cutie pie comes along and I truly learned the meaning of busy. Truly beyond my imagination. I really did have too much to do at first and was shocked, sleep deprived, desperately looking for any convenience to feed the family, keep house, and just relax (see early blogs for the progression).

Little did I realize that chores oddly bring some purpose to life. I have always known that work makes playing more fun but didn't know just how much I was NOT doing and how much I was NOT enjoying as a result. I credit a nesting instinct with my personal discovery on this matter. Some desire washed over me that had me enjoying the extra preparation of making William's organic purees, cleaning the carpet, sweeping the floor daily. He inspired a domestic greatness in me that has spread to other areas. Life is good especially if we are open to the tiny blessings that lead to the big blessings of realizing a happy existence.

In an effort at being clever to myself and so I can remember this ideal, internalize it, and have it become part of my fabric, I have coined this term: An Inconvenient Life*. It is also my theme for the next direction of blog observations and entries. It's a cool road to travel and filled with lots of doing, lots of thinking, and lots of living. It is a happy life; the inconvenient life. I can thank motherhood for it, too. I never realized how much time I wasted until William came along. Now, Brandon and I are busy, relaxed, happy, purposeful, and thankful. What a great year!

*I am not against progress or modern technology. I simply believe we could benefit from keeping some old-fashioned approaches. More work and a little less play might not be a bad idea for those struggling with excess.

Ages...It's been Ages

It has been quite a long time since I've blogged anything. I have no audience (on purpose) and have just been so focused on enjoying our life and all the new experiences, I hadn't taken time to document it. So, I figure a little journal entry about my observations and our changes might be noteworthy at this point. Plus, I just got into a mode of doing and not talking about it. This is a relief for me. I find just doing and not analyzing to be a very peaceful way of life.

Looking back on this year along with the past several years I realized that my life has been too convenient. This came only after a tenacious pursuit of convenience in the wake of new motherhood. It began with crafting. The crafting and creative musing spun into a personal cooking revolution. All this led to a whole new perspective. I have had an epiphany.

When William was born all I could think of was how to get a lot of stuff done faster because I had too much to do. Devising shortcuts to getting the usual jobs done: laundry, cleaning, meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and financial planning was my goal. Some shortcuts are worthwhile because they streamline tedious, messy, or unfruitful tasks. These kinds are "systems" I have in place for outwitting our own lazy tendencies (shoe racks, coat hooks, bill sorters, storage bins etc) and these are convenient but not in a way that has contributed to our own complacent living. Then there are tasks worth complicating. Acts that lead to nurturing, cultivating, and learning should be preserved--in my opinion. What I ironically realized is that the very shortcuts I pursued are what have done me in over this year and all the past years.

Two Worlds Collide

Well, seems that the creative cooking merged with creative drawing. It's nice to have concrete projects to do. Otherwise I would just keep promising myself that I'll return to my studio.

Our neighborhood Bunco group put together a cookbook and I added some illustrations. This was a tough but good return to my work as an illustrator. I learned a few things:

- I can draw decently

- I love quick, expressive watercolor

- I need practice but can do good work under pressure

- My studio set-up stinks

- My process suffers b/c of my studio set-up

- I miss drawing and need to do it more often

- The scanning technique needs tweaking (the originals are far better looking!)

Results

Having some luck with my return to the kitchen. I love cooking! I scour cookbooks planning and improvising. So rewarding to create something from from virtually nothing. What is the appeal? Is it art? Is it nesting? Is it appetite? Who knows.

There is something about a house filled with the smell of baking bread, a savory gratin, or just a plain old roasted chicken. I guess it's part of the sense of home, family, and the holidays.

Less take-out, less Chipotle, less of the Ukrops "dinner for two" bags, fewer trips to Tenjinmura, and less "BDubs". More mess, more work, more trips to the store, and much more satisfaction (did I list more pounds?), and more money in the bank. (well sort of..if you don't count that new mixer...the new pans...err..um...)

What's good is sharing it with the parents, friends, and Brandon's office. What's bad is forgetting to share it and having a new glass cake stand and dome donning our island. Yup. I feel like it is the counter at a sweets shop. Now, I've got to have a weekly special in there otherwise it's just sadly empty. Nothing like pumpkin pound cake, banana bread, or good ol' tollhouse cookies on hand for quick treats to share...or not to share.

Detour

Funny, as Brandon and I strolled (literally--little ham in tow on wheels and cooperating enough for us to muse) through Sur La Table in an effort to get away late on a Sunday afternoon, I remarked on how my hobby has shifted.

As I browsed the books, and caressed the tea towels, I remared, "honey-my hobby has taken a turn. It's as if I went to felting and took a sharp right hand turn into cooking as my creative outlet lately."

He agreed with unusual attentiveness and enthusiasm as if he had already noted this to himself silently apart from me who has been trying 2 new recipes everyday for weeks. Or, perhaps he has noticed our grocery bill skyrocketing as I stubbornly improvise or revise recipes to stake my own claim. Tis true, I have been cooking again and had forgotten how creative and satisfying a good homemade meal can be.

So, the watercolor brushes have given way to pastry brushes which haven given way to baby raising. The inspired idea of felting my illustrated creatures has now turned into nurturing and feeding the hungry creatures under my roof--myself included--one who really should stick to Weight Watchers right now but just can't seem to give up on the autumn hearty inspirations of apple cake, roasting turkeys, and good ol' homemade soup!

We shall see where this turns next. Just thought I oughta make note of this interesting shift as I look back on the past two months.

Consider this an entry into (what I equate my blog to) the diary that I haven't told anyone about but have written in and left on the table unlocked for someone to happen upon.

I guess the good news in all of this is that I have an outlet that feeds (no pun intended) my creative needs right now and answers to my new responsibilities as Mom who is keeper of the kitchen.

Makes sense and satisfies. Good thing.

Tick...Tock..

And the clock ticks on with nary a fun project started. No worry. The mere idea of creating paired with musing about what, when, how, and whom are enough to feed my creative spirit for now. Besides, there is so much to do with working from home, keeping a home, and loving little baby all the while trying to be a good wife and true person. It's a lot, eh!

Speaking of keeping home..whew. I discovered that I spent so much time in the past few months ordering take-out, fixing frozen pizzas all for the sake of convenience. In reality, it made me more frustrated somehow being so far from the happy cook I once was. So, back in the kitchen I've been for the past month and satisfying some creativity (and appetites) there, too.

This marks a new sense of purpose and nurturing. It seems...well...err...to my surprise that I have jumped into motherhood now with such enthusiasm. Laundry, cooking, cleaning are all done for the love of my son and husband. I fought it for so long but have found peace and a new wisdom in the nurturing of those I love. It reminds me of something my sister described years ago how that her folding laundry was an act of love for her children. I thought it was sweet but didn't fully grasp it until now. This does not mean that I bound of out bed each morning eager to do chores. In fact, I try not to do too many while William is young so I can enjoy him as much as possible.

Being only 5 months, he is not easily occupied by other toys and seeks to nestle his rosy cheeks into my arms and stare at me. Or, he prefers to play on my lap instead of sitting in his chair while I cook and put dishes away. I know the day of the next separation is coming all too fast so I seek his company first, too. Then I do the chores when (and if) he sleeps. As I do those once dreaded and boring things, I think of how important a tidy, happy, and safe nest is for my little birdie. Oh the love for our children. It is something I so underestimated.

Well, seeing as I've just rambled on to an audience of none (well an audience of 1--myself) I'll end by sharing this sweet photo of a sweet character made by Jennifer Murphy. I found this gem linked from Jenn Docherty's description of an art show by Earth Angels. Wonderful! I love seeing others live art fully. It is inspiring.

Enjoy.